Home for the Holidays

As many of you know, we just finished up the holiday season, with Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas and then New Years.  I’m sure many of you were wondering what was happening here, and what it was like to celebrate these holidays in Haiti.  Most Quest volunteers stay here for the holidays, but the program and the sisters were flexible and generous enough to allow me to go home for Christmas and surprise my family for Thanksgiving.  This was really important that I be able to do this and I’m so thankful that I was able to be with my family.

It was both nice and a little strange to be home.  I loved being able to spend time with the family, help out with Thanksgiving and Christmas activities, eat ice cream and have hot showers, but it was definitely a little different.  It felt a little weird to be part of the crowd again.  Here, we stick out like extremely sore thumbs (the red, throbbing, cartoon kind), and I have had to get accustomed to the stares, having “blan” shouted after me all the time and just being noticed by everyone.  This has been an aspect of living as a minority and a transition that had to be made.  But, when I was home, no one stared at me (or at least they were subtle about it), no one shouted at me or really took any notice.  I was able to just go about my business.  I will admit, it was a pretty nice break, especially for a girl who doesn’t really like being stared at.

I was surprised, that even after three months in Haiti, how different my perspective was.  I found myself turning the water off while showering, letting the yellow mellow and looking for the compost bin.  I was struck at how much waste we generated over a few days.  Going into stores was extremely overwhelming in terms of the size and the amount of things.  I was in awe at the amount of seemingly useless tchotchkes that one could purchase.  I kept thinking about why would anyone really need some of the gadgets and gizmos they were selling?  How necessary was it to life?  It was weird to think about everyone worrying about Christmas and all the last minute shopping when I knew plenty of kids who would be getting nothing and would be lucky if they even got a hot meal for Christmas.

One of the most common questions that I was asked when I was home was "what were the most difficult things to get used to?"  I figured since so many people wanted to know, I would answer the question here.  To those who have already heard my response, feel free to skip ahead a couple of paragraphs.  Those who haven’t—read on.

Apart from the general changes in food, sleeping habits, environment, living with new people, etc., there have really only been two things that I have had to adjust to.  One has been Haitian men.  Before I continue, it is important for me to say that not all men are like this.  I have met plenty of nice men, so I wouldn’t want my observations to make you think that it applies to everyone.  Also, this is only one perspective, in one area of Haiti.  When trying to find words to describe my observations, the only one that seemed fitting (and I’m still not sure it is exactly what I’m looking for), is that some men - of all ages - here are extremely forward.  After brief formalities, the typical next question is “do you have a boyfriend” or something about how beautiful one is followed by that question.  If I respond truthfully, I usually get something that hints at “don’t you want me to be your boyfriend?” and “how come?” when I respond in the negative.  During my immersion, I had this conversation so frequently, that I made up a story just to catch a break.

In addition to unwanted questions about my personal life, “kissy faces” and “kissy noises” are frequently made at us when walking through the street.  I’ve even had one young man lean in for the kiss when Beth and I were running down main street one evening.  It seems that some of the first English people learn here has to do with sex or such related topics.  I have had 12 and 14 year-old boys say “give me a kiss” while passing in the street.

Between the three of us (Beth, Frankie and I), we have had men say that they wanted to have babies with us or have sex with us (both politely and in more vulgar terms).  If you say that you have a boyfriend, whom you love very much, back in the states, this is sometimes passed off and the questions and demands persist.  Learning about how Haitian men interact with women, whether they be white or black, has been an interesting part of the culture here.  Sex does not seem to be a very private or personal thing.  Men, and women too, may have more than one partner.  Children with the same mom, may have siblings from one or two different men.  Given the limited space that families live in, children are exposed early in life.  I’ve seen young kids, like 4 and 5 year olds, using condoms as balloons.  Marriage, in the sense of the word that we understand in the states, is less frequent and may occur long after a couple has been together or has had children together.

The second thing that I have had to get used to is saying "no".  On a daily basis, people of all ages will come to our house or stop us on the street and ask us for food or money or other things like bracelets we’re wearing, hats, bags, etc.  Sometimes its as simple as “Ban m sa a” (and point to something) or “Ban m kòb” which translates to “give me that” or “give me money.”  Other times, someone will tell us a story about a child or sibling who is very sick and needs to go to hospital but they don’t have money, or they have been to the hospital but now don’t have money for medicine.  Each of us has had to learn how to politely say that we are unable to help.  At first, it was incredibly hard to say no to people when you know that they really are in need and it still is at some points.  It is much easier now, which sometimes is a little disconcerting and makes me feel like I have been hardened a little bit by having to do this so often.

Although I did go home to see my family, one of the other reasons I went home for Christmas was to attend our annual Christmas party.  Every year, my family hosts a big party where we serve soup, people decorate our christmas tree and we collect something for a different charity.  In the past, we have collected vitamins for an orphanage in Malawi, books for an adult learning center in Maine, and school supplies for an after school program that supported children affected by 9/11.  For the people and organizations we work with, we try to have a direct connection - whether it be a friend of a friend or an acquaintance who knows someone.  This year, given my current location, we collected for Haiti.  After much deliberation, we decided that collecting toothbrushes, toothpaste and soap would be the most useful.  We also asked party-goers to bring vitamins that can be given to kids who may need them as well as hand sanitizer we can use throughout the summer's activities. We host a summer camp every year for the kids at Fon Ibo and at the end of camp they each receive a small "goody" bag.  In addition to the typical stickers and other small trinkets in the bag, we thought it would be nice if kids got something that would actually benefit their health.  There isn't really a dentist here.  There is supposed to be one at the hospital, but it is pretty unaffordable for the majority of the population and many kids suffer from rotten teeth, cavities and other dental issues.  Fungus and various other skin maladies are common too, so we thought soap would be useful.  In total, we collected over 400 toothbrushes, over 200 tubes of toothpaste, and around 200 bars of soap.  All of these, in addition to some that we may purchase in the market here, will be given to the 300+ Kon Klodin (Camp Claudine) campers and counselors this summer.  Thank you to all who contributed to this effort!

I did have a great time at home.  I was able to enjoy both fall and some winter - something that I was really missing here.  Although it has gotten a little cooler since we arrived in August, it’s pretty much the same temperature every day.  I was struck at how much I missed watching the leaves change and then fall and pulling all my flannel shirts and SmartWool socks out as fall turned into winter.  It was also nice to take a break from some of frustrations I have here and kind of regroup.  But, I was thrilled to return and get back to work.

We got stuck in a huge traffic jam on the way to the airport.  Turns out it was because of a demonstration taking place in one of the towns for improved water and electricity.

The grocery store in Port-au-Prince.

Approaching JFK.

My first meal back in the States!!!

Fall!  In addition to sitting with pumpkins and eating a pumpkin whoopie pie, I went "apple picking" with the leftover apples that were never picked from the trees at the orchard near my Grandmom's house.

Winter!  While my brothers were wearing shorts and complaining that it was too warm for November, I was freezing.  I was much too used to the 80º daily temperature we experience here in Gros Morne.

It's a little difficult to see, but behind the gas station you can see some of the light-up reindeer on top of one of the buildings in PAP.  This is the only picture I have of the Christmas decorations I saw both in Gros Morne and PAP.

Our Christmas tree at home!

Our tree in Haiti.  Given the complete lack of your classic christmas trees species here, as well as opposition from one of our community members (Sr. Pat, environmentalist through and through), an artificial one does the trick!

Christmas in Philadelphia!

A lovely view on my way back to Haiti.